We need to upgrad the toilets

I think some think that i could improve in in my essay would have to be to be to state my thesis a bit better because when i wrote it it some people found it hard to no what my essay was about.
Also somtihing else that i think that i need to use more persiwave terms so it will convince people better and help to state my point.
Somting good that i did in my essay was my topic because i had alot of things to say and argue about