I think some think that i could improve in in my essay would have to be to be to state my thesis a bit better because when i wrote it it some people found it hard to no what my essay was about.
Also somtihing else that i think that i need to use more persiwave terms so it will convince people better and help to state my point.
Somting good that i did in my essay was my topic because i had alot of things to say and argue about
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Monday, December 3, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
My letter
I think that my letter shows that I am getting better at asking usefull qustions. But I think a next step for me is to take more time with my brain storm.
168 Clyde Rd
Fendalton
Christchurch
New Zealand
Dear Paul Jennings,
Hi I’m Kate Hyde
I’m from Fendalton Open-air primary school Christchurch New Zealand.
I love your story The Buske in your book Unbelievable.
I have read so many of your books but this is just the best ever 10/10. It was really sad but very surprising and I think it would have taken a lot of thought for your awsome ending when really the man that thaked to th boy was really The Busker, very inventived.
I’ve got a few questions for you if that in alright.
First how did you come up with the idea for your great story The Busker?
Another thing that I was wondering was are you any thing like any people in the story?
So over all I think that your story was the best thing I’ve ever read dramatic, sad, fun to read and heaps more.
Yours Faithfully Kate
168 Clyde Rd
Fendalton
Christchurch
New Zealand
Dear Paul Jennings,
Hi I’m Kate Hyde
I’m from Fendalton Open-air primary school Christchurch New Zealand.
I love your story The Buske in your book Unbelievable.
I have read so many of your books but this is just the best ever 10/10. It was really sad but very surprising and I think it would have taken a lot of thought for your awsome ending when really the man that thaked to th boy was really The Busker, very inventived.
I’ve got a few questions for you if that in alright.
First how did you come up with the idea for your great story The Busker?
Another thing that I was wondering was are you any thing like any people in the story?
So over all I think that your story was the best thing I’ve ever read dramatic, sad, fun to read and heaps more.
Yours Faithfully Kate
Poem-Water
H2o an element of life
Smooth flowing liquid
Oozing out of our drink bottles
Rolling twisting curling waves
Reaching out to wind us in
Wrapping us into the deep
Water course stretching, drifting
Bumpy rapid chewing us up
Flapping over top of our heads
By Kate
Smooth flowing liquid
Oozing out of our drink bottles
Rolling twisting curling waves
Reaching out to wind us in
Wrapping us into the deep
Water course stretching, drifting
Bumpy rapid chewing us up
Flapping over top of our heads
By Kate
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Hansel and Gretel
By Kate
Team 14, Fendalton School
June 2007
Once upon a time there were two evil kids, one was called Hansel and the other was called Gretel. Both were as evil as each other. Gretel looked like a sweet little girl with blond hair and blue eyes and she wore a cute little pink dress. Hansel looked like a real gentleman, he had brown hair and blue eyes and he wore some denim dungarees. But they were not cute and cuddly, they were evil. Who knows why? Their parents were so very kind and they were so rich that they got everything they wanted. They lived in an enormous mansion in the outskirts of Goldenville where all the rich people lived.
One day, they all went to the mall to get the kids everything that they wanted. First they went into a lolly shop, they gave the kids $20 each to spend, but that was not enough. The children cried and begged and they got $50 and they spent it ALL!!! Gretel managed to save a little of the money in case of emergencies.
Next they went to a car shop to get a new car for their Dad. Hansel and Gretel had different ideas, they wanted a self-driving limo and there they saw one. “That will be perfect for us,” said Hansel and they hopped in for a test drive. Ahh!!! They got a humungous fright. There right in front of them sat The Evil Fairy (dun, dun, dunnn…).
Suddenly The Evil Fairy flew off into the sky taking Hansel and Gretel with her. Gretel, the smarter one, opened the window and started to drop coins out of it. This created a trail and they could find their way home, once they got free from The evil fairy. Seemingly they thought they had been in the air for hours. Back at the mall their parents were still in amazement and sad their little babies were gone, but happy also, because they could finally have time to themselves and for their dream - making mud pies.
(Eeer…) Hansel and Gretel’s trip had finally come to a stop. “Get out!” said The Evil Fairy. They stood in shock at what was before them - a 5-storey house made of lollies, chocolate and gingerbread. Walking in the gate they snapped off a piece and ate it. It was the best thing they had ever tasted in their entire life. Suddenly it grew back, “It grows back don’t wear it out,” said The Evil Fairy. “I want you to eat lots and lots of food to keep your strength up,” said The Evil Fairy, but really she wanted them to get fat so that she could eat them. Locking them up into separate bedrooms so they could not plot an escape was a very big challenge for The Evil Fairy.
She would give the children a three course meal every hour on the hour and it was impossible to resist the lovely food she had cooked for them.
Day by day, week by week, they began to get so fat they could not see their feet. Then The Evil Fairy said to herself: “they’re ready to be cooked for my best meal yet.” She got the kids to hop into a warm bath, but really, she wanted them to hop into the boiling pot of water.
Hansel said, “This is a bit hot for me.”
“Me too,” said Gretel.
“Ha, ha,” cackled The Evil Fairy, “it’s not a bath,” she said.
“Then you must be cooking us,” said Gretel.
“Aah, that’s correct,” and you’re too late to stop me,” said The Evil Fairy.
“Maybe, but if we get cooked you get cooked with us,” said Hansel. They pulled her into the pot and they did not live happily ever after.
However, Hansel and Gretel’s Mum and Dad lived happily ever after because they adopted two lovely little kids called Ancil and Kettle.
The End.
Team 14, Fendalton School
June 2007
Once upon a time there were two evil kids, one was called Hansel and the other was called Gretel. Both were as evil as each other. Gretel looked like a sweet little girl with blond hair and blue eyes and she wore a cute little pink dress. Hansel looked like a real gentleman, he had brown hair and blue eyes and he wore some denim dungarees. But they were not cute and cuddly, they were evil. Who knows why? Their parents were so very kind and they were so rich that they got everything they wanted. They lived in an enormous mansion in the outskirts of Goldenville where all the rich people lived.
One day, they all went to the mall to get the kids everything that they wanted. First they went into a lolly shop, they gave the kids $20 each to spend, but that was not enough. The children cried and begged and they got $50 and they spent it ALL!!! Gretel managed to save a little of the money in case of emergencies.
Next they went to a car shop to get a new car for their Dad. Hansel and Gretel had different ideas, they wanted a self-driving limo and there they saw one. “That will be perfect for us,” said Hansel and they hopped in for a test drive. Ahh!!! They got a humungous fright. There right in front of them sat The Evil Fairy (dun, dun, dunnn…).
Suddenly The Evil Fairy flew off into the sky taking Hansel and Gretel with her. Gretel, the smarter one, opened the window and started to drop coins out of it. This created a trail and they could find their way home, once they got free from The evil fairy. Seemingly they thought they had been in the air for hours. Back at the mall their parents were still in amazement and sad their little babies were gone, but happy also, because they could finally have time to themselves and for their dream - making mud pies.
(Eeer…) Hansel and Gretel’s trip had finally come to a stop. “Get out!” said The Evil Fairy. They stood in shock at what was before them - a 5-storey house made of lollies, chocolate and gingerbread. Walking in the gate they snapped off a piece and ate it. It was the best thing they had ever tasted in their entire life. Suddenly it grew back, “It grows back don’t wear it out,” said The Evil Fairy. “I want you to eat lots and lots of food to keep your strength up,” said The Evil Fairy, but really she wanted them to get fat so that she could eat them. Locking them up into separate bedrooms so they could not plot an escape was a very big challenge for The Evil Fairy.
She would give the children a three course meal every hour on the hour and it was impossible to resist the lovely food she had cooked for them.
Day by day, week by week, they began to get so fat they could not see their feet. Then The Evil Fairy said to herself: “they’re ready to be cooked for my best meal yet.” She got the kids to hop into a warm bath, but really, she wanted them to hop into the boiling pot of water.
Hansel said, “This is a bit hot for me.”
“Me too,” said Gretel.
“Ha, ha,” cackled The Evil Fairy, “it’s not a bath,” she said.
“Then you must be cooking us,” said Gretel.
“Aah, that’s correct,” and you’re too late to stop me,” said The Evil Fairy.
“Maybe, but if we get cooked you get cooked with us,” said Hansel. They pulled her into the pot and they did not live happily ever after.
However, Hansel and Gretel’s Mum and Dad lived happily ever after because they adopted two lovely little kids called Ancil and Kettle.
The End.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)